Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

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Knock Knock. Who's there? James. Ok.

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What's the difference between a poodle and a noodle? Scaboodle!

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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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So a ninja walks into a bar and he sees a cowboy and the ninja says i will kill you with my mad ninja skills and the cowboy says who needs mad ninja skills when you got a gun

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What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

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why did the Japanese father cry? because when america bombed japan in wwll it happened to kill the rest of his family

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Why did Kelly lose all interest in men? An aneurysm in her brain popped

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An Admiral walks into Ackbar...

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A street performer was sitting on a curb playing guitar when a black man walked up and put some money in the guitar case. The street performer nodded in appreciation of the man's donation and continued to play his instrument.

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what does a gay horse eat heeyyyyy

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What did boy with now arms and no legs get for christmas A pogo-stick

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A black man, a mexican, and a muslim all jump off a building. Who hit the ground first? Who cares!

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What do you call a blue bucket? A blue bucket. What do you call a red bucket? A blue bucket in disguise.

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? one, hes an electrician

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A man walks into a dairy. Most people will not get this as it is cultural slang and they will think it is referring to dairy products.Oh well. This was going to be a good joke.

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I haven't left my basement in 29 years

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When life gives you lemons.... Impossible life is not a person nor a dispenser of lemons.

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A have a black guy in my family tree. He married my cousin a few years back

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Whats worse than spilling ketchup on your shirt? Getting hit by a bus

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was running away from KFC.

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Why is the melon having a wedding? Because it cantaloupe.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The man replies, "I was born with an extra chromosome."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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