Why was sally mopping the floor? Because she was a slave

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.......ah shit i forgotten the joke

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hey! Wanna hear a bird joke? No. Well this is Hawkward....

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Quantum Mechanics is so difficult to understand, somewhere Stephen Hawking just walked into a bar.

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what did the little boy get from santa claus on christmas? nothing santa isnt real

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Your mother's so fat.....When she gets on the scale, it tells her how much she weighs

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Why was a black person on the run, being trailed by police officers? They were all late to work; their work places were coincidentally situated near each other.

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Why didn't the giraffe go to the zoo party? He didn't receive an invitation.

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Why did the duck eat the chicken noodle soup? The duck was told that if he ate the chicken noodle soup on Fear Factor he would win $10,000. What he failed to realize was that he forgot to sign page 16 on the episode contract and did not win any money and was sued by Campbell's soup for copyright infringement.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, killed 6's family and made him watch...

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i like having monkeys lick peanut butter off my nipples

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whats funny? this joke. just kidding. your face.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says: Why the long face? The horse says: I'm a horse. We have long faces.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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How do you torture helen keller? Waterboard her.

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What is lazy? My balls. All they do is hang.

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Knock knock. USE THE DOORBELL!

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You know, people are kind of like trees, they tend to fall over when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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Who is the best person to do your nails with? Nobody, you have no friends.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are trapped on a deserted island when they come across a magic lamp. The brunette rubs the lamp and a genie appears! The genie offers them each a wish. They all make their wishes, but none of them come true as the genie was simply a hallucination brought on by severe trauma and dehydration.

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Why couldn't the dead man take a shit? He was severely constipated

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roses are red violets are blue I suck at poetry time for lunch :D

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A gay man walks into McDonald's. McDonald's serves people of all sexualities.

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Where did Mary go when the bomb blew up? Everywhere.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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