A gay man walks out of his bedroom, rubbing his ass in pain. He says, "I hate it when I slip and fall in the shower."

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A wise man once told me that friends are like cookies. He was a cannibal.

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if a tree falls in the forest does it make a sound? if a tree falls in the forest and it falls on a mime, does anyone care?

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I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

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,try this on a girl, say "can I pop your cherry.........soda bottle cap off your cherry soda bottle?"

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Whats worse then sneezing on someone? sneeze on someone and find out

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What do you call someone with no arms, one leg,and an eye patch? names

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What did the Asian say to the Mexican working at the friutstand? Hi, I'm Asian!

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Why did the little girl stop licking her Popsicle? A psychopath cut off her tongue.

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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Why was the man hit by the car? Hellen Keller was driving.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? That is none of your concern as it invades his freedom of privacy.

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Betty wanted to see time fly so she threw her alarm clock out the window. Shortly after, her mother grounded her as it was quite expensive and she had become less punctual without it.

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My friends a Jehovahs Witness. He got all pissed at me because he tried to tell me a knock knock joke and I ignored him.......i totally stole this joke lol.

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Did u hear what happened to that man with no arms and no legs who tried to play water polo? No, what happened He drowned....

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What do you get when you cross a dog with a cat? Nothing, it is impossible to mix 2 different animals

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YOU

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Finn Davidson is cool, no he's not, yes he is

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Whats black and white and eats like horse? A zebra.

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A black man, an Asian man, and an American man are in a car. Who is driving? The black man, it's his car.

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Why wasn't Steve paying attention in class? Because he was dead.

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What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

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Q. What did Michael Jackson say to the banana? A. Nothing, he's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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