Why can't the toucann fly anymore? Because they're extinct

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Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? It didn't. She didn't have a dog.

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Q: what did the black man say after the white man said knock knock A: who's there

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So Nero, what the fuck are you doing? XD

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Sometimes I sit in the bath and pretend im a bubble

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What does a ghost get when he watches porn? A boner

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A bird flew into a cave and Batman said, "GET OOOUUUTTT!"

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a blonde walks into a drycleaning store to get her clothes and on her way out the empoyee behind her says come again and then the blonde says shut up u nosy bitch its just toothpaste this time!!!

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What did john say to dave when his grandfather died ?

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Theres an app for the iPhone.

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What do you call a chicken with the head of a shark? A genetic anomaly.

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what did the white man say to the mexican man when the mexican stepped in poop? you have poop on your toe

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What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, and only one eye? Dave.

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whats red and all over the road your family after a horrific car crash

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why did the chicken cross the road? he didn't make it

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A black man walks up to a white man, and the black man says YO DIGGITY DAWG WASSAP FO DRIZZLE PLAYA BEEP BOBOTY BOP. And the white man stands there, confused as to what the black man said.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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What black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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What is yellow and writes? -A Ball Point Banana!

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to fix a lightbulb? Lets go ride bikes.

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How many men do you have to have sex with to show that you're gay? But, I'm a woman!

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how many dead babies can fit in a microwave? 3 1/2

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Women's Rights

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops