do you have a pen i can borrow? yeah, here.

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An American and Russian are arguing about their country. The American says "I can do things you can't. I can walk into the White House and into the Oval Office. I can bang my hands on my President's desk and say "Mr. Obama, I don't like the way you're running your country." The Russian says, "I can do that." The American says, "No, you can't." The Russian says, "Sure I can. I can go to Vladimir Putin's office and say "Mr. President, I don't like the way Mr. Obama's running his country."

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What did the deaf blonde say to the brunette? Nothing.

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Why was the lady afraid of cooking? Because her husband always beat her with a frying pan

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Jews

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How do you make a sausage roll? Wrap some sausage meat in a pastry dough made of plain flour, water, salt and fat, and bake it in an oven.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it didnt it got hit by a bus.

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What sound did the man make? Splatt. He fell off a building.

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what happened when a chicken laid an egg? it died

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Why didn't the door open? Because it was locked

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What did the black man say when he noticed his crack was missing? I guess they fixed the sidewalk while I was at work.

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for christmas? Cancer

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why do black people like kool-aid? it's a tasty refreshment

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Roses are red violets are blue I can't rhyme fridge

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How do you make a tissue dance? Tissues are inanimate objects, they cannot dance and thinking otherwise is foolish.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a terrorist.

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Why was the man hanging from a tree? He got the Death Penalty

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I donated to Kony 2012. Litterally to Kony. I approve of his actions.

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2 Penises

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Did you hear about the 2 pretzels walking down the street? It's not true, pretzels are not capable of autonomous movement.

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A raptor and a Tyrannosaurus Rex walk into a bar. Everyone runs for their lives as the dinosaurs ate everyone who was too slow.

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I wumbo, you wumbo, he she me,.WUMBO!

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What/s funnier than 24 dead Jews? 25 dead Jews. What/s funnier than 25 dead Jews? 6 million dead Jews. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Two women are sitting on a park bench, minding their own business, saying nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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