Whats the difference between a Cadillac and 100 dead babies? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.

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these jokes are not funny but there funny because there not funny aaaaaaaa pissing me off

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Knock knock! Ding dong.

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Why did the baby die? Because he got shot in the head repeatedly.

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roses are red violets are blue we're having sex cause i'm stronger than you

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An Asian person drove home safely.

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Why did Jimmy get off of the park bench? he wanted candy from the man in the white van

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So, I was walking down the street. As i walked past a oak door an entrance to a mental institution, I heard a bored voice going, "eleven, eleven, eleven". My curiosity, like a cat, got better of me and I decided to take a peek through the key hole and see the eleven things being counted. As soon as I had my eye on the key hole, I was poked in the eye by a metal rod. Startled, I feel back to the street. And, sure enough, heard the same bored voice, going, "twelve, twelve, twelve".

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What did the orphan boy get for Christmas? Exactly what he had asked for because UNICEF do a wonderful job.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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Two muffins are put in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, "is it just me or is it getting hot in here?". The other muffin says,"HOLY CRAP!!!!! A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!".

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Why did the girl go to the hospital? She had an asthma attack.

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Why did the black man buy ten packets of Kool-Aid at the supermarket? Because it is a refreshing beverage that many individuals enjoy drinking.

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What's the difference between a car and a sack of dead babies? I don't keep a car in my garage.

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Why couldn't the prostitute give a proper blow job..... She had no lips

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How to condom style ayyyyyy sexy horsey how how how how how to condom style

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Why does a chicken lay an egg? If she'd throw it it would break.

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Why was the kid picking his nose. Because someone shoved a bomb in it.

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every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute goes by.

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why didnt the kid get anything for christmas? santa exploded

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Two drums and a sybol fall off the edge of a cliff. They hit a random pedestrian at the bottom killing him instantly. da-dum ch

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If at first you don't succeed, there's a very substantial probability that you failed.

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What is white and will kill you if it fell out of a tree? Charles Manson

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Why doesn't little jimmy ride his favourite bike to school any more? He was playing on the platform at at the railway station, tripped and fell across the track, at which point a seven carriage train came through at over 150 mph and cut through his upper thighs crushing everything in his legs and causing them to fall off.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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