A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill....Just kidding, it was only Jill. Jack had no legs

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What doesn't kill you makes you injured

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A blind man walks past a fish market then says "why hello lady's" ????

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What do you call a cow that's holy? Holy Cow

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?"i'm so turned on right now." - horny light bulb

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What's worse than dieing? Not much.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally, she has no arms.

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How many jews can you fit into an ash-tray? none because the volume of a human is much greater than an any ash-tray

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If you see a person falling down your balcony, Say cya later!

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow.

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Q: what did the black man say after the white man said knock knock A: who's there

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Why do people laugh at the number 69? Honestly I don't know, its just a number isn't it?

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how do you get blondes to drown? stick a mirror to the bottom of the pool

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The president is invited to a party at Bill's house. Suddenly the house catches on fire. Who survived? No one, they all died.

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On a scale of 1 to Lord Voldemort, how awkward would you say your hugs are?

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whats the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? babies aren't fruit.

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What do you call an Islamic man fling a plane? A very frightened passenger who took over flying the plane when the pilot collapsed due to a heart attack

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A man approaches an attractive young woman at a party. He asks her if a rag smells like chloroform and proceeds to hold the rag up to her face. She passes out, the man takes her into a nearby bedroom and rapes her. He casually leaves the party. He will most likely continue this vile act for years to come.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are white Daisies are yellow Why am I naming flower colours?

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What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, cause they are walls.

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Knock, Knock.. Whose there? Its the Census Man!!

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Who did you see last night? Nobody, no one wants to see you.

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Q: What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? A: His name.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops