This statement is false.

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Why don't elderly people act their age? because they die.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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How may Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side!

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how do you get a rat out the house you lift it up and put it outside

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Why did the spider cross the road? He was stuck to the bottom of my shoe!

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Your mums so stupid. She bought an apple for 35p even though the shop across the road sells them for 34p

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If all ziggles are zaggles and all zaggles are zumbles, then why is your mother a whore?

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Cum on guys, gay jokes arent funny!

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What's worse than watching the Hunger Games? Playing the Hunger Games

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If you are stranded on a deserted island would you eat your hand or the 5 star meal you butter prepared? -Matt

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Cause she's a woman

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Knock Knock Who's there? ........

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I'm hungry.

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Knock knock Who's there? Be Be who? Be yourself

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whats black and white and red all over? a zebra crossing after a horrible, horrible car accident

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What do you do if a black man throws a gernade at you? You take the pin out, and throw it back.

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if a dog won't bark, there's no way you can teach it to talk.

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If you saw two guys named Hambone and Flippy, which one would you think liked dolphins the most? I'd say Flippy, wouldn't you? You'd be wrong, though. It's Hambone.

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knock knock, whos there? billy i dont know who you are, please get away from my front door before i call the authorities

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Why did suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock - who's there? Bob -bob who.... Bobs knocking for suzie!

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Knock Knock Who's there? The KGB Yes, How can I help? We are looking for a local serbian mobster who we believe to be hiding in this Village have you seen this man. No I cant say I have. Sorry Well thank you for your time and if you notice anything please try and let the local Police know.

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Q. Why did the triceratops die? A. A giant meteor hit him.

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What's the difference between a baby and a sandwich? A sandwich doesn't scream when I put my salami in it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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