Why didn't the busy San Francisco business man hear his alarm clock ring this morning? A nuclear bomb blast occurred 700 meters from his front door. The estimated blast radius was approximately 100 square miles. Naturally, his alarm clock didn't make it.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I like pie. I know you do too.

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A man walks into a bar and sees a depressed looking giraffe. The man says, “Why the long neck?” The giraffe responds, “That’s not the expression.”

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What do you call a Black man with AIDS? Unfortunate.

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What is black and blue, with nothing to do? The prostitute in my basement.

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Q: Why did the little Canadian girl start crying ? A: Because her mum through a fridge at her.

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boobs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you simply have a chicken joke WITHOUT it crossing the road

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c-? men, C-men

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither has he.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? George Bush

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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What did the boy to it's grandad........ UR COuSIN¬

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A guy walks into a bar. He loses conciseness because of the force of the metal bar hitting his skull.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have condoms, But we didn't use them with you. You were DP'd, Now you have STD.

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Why did you loose the basketball game? Because they scored more points than us.

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A giraffe walks into a bar.... just kidding, a giraffe wouldnt fit in a bar.

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How do you tell the difference between a white family, and an albino black family? The albino black family suffers from a lack of pigmentation, while the white family just has a naturally pale skintone.

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Why wasn't the black woman allowed on the bus? It was rush hour and the bus was full.

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How many apple does it take to turn a fridge into a water buffalo? Yellow tactics because of the Minty fragrance

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How long would it take for a clock to reach 12 It depends on which 12 it is going to land on and which time zone you are in but yet most clocks are not correct so it is very hard to tell

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Bob: You need to push harder? Tom: Oh wow what a coincidence, that is what my wife said last night. They laugh about the irony of the situation and then return to the task at hand

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Why did the Asian eat so much rice? Because he was hungry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops