Knock knock whos there? I have no anus

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How did you know it was bedtime at Michael Jackson's house? When his clock's big hand met the little hand, usually at 10 or 11, though sometimes later if he had a concert that night.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Q: what is blue and floats in a pool? A: a baby Q: what is purple and at the bottom of the pool? A: the baby 5 minutes later

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What do you call an asian woman with one leg? By her name.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's brown, sticky and crawls up your leg? A homesick poo.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How come Susie fell off of the swing? -because I hit her with an axe Coolhsoj

thumb_up thumb_down +28

It was a dark and stormy night. The whole family waiting for the phone to ring as they await for a criminal to give instructions. Then the phone rings... RING RING Jeffery: "Hello? Yes, sir. Yes, sir. No sir please don't! No, have mercy! Yes sir. No sir, no. Yes sir. Bye." Donald: "What did the man say?" Jeffery: "Wrong number..."

thumb_up thumb_down +28

So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

There is no joke here, stop reading.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

why did the duck fall in the water? It got shot

thumb_up thumb_down +28

"Knock Knock" "You know the doorbell is working?" "Oh, well, you know I'm here now. May I come in?" "Yes, have a cup of tea"

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did I say to my mum this morning? Good morning.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did Bob fall over? He was impaled by a narwhal. -BG

thumb_up thumb_down +28

An Irish man walks out of a bar..... 'nuff said

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's worse then the WNBA? Nickelback.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's black and white and red all over? I don't care I have AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What is blue and smells like blue paint? Blue paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

carn ehney bodie hellp mie with mine smellings?

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What is big white and will kill you if it falls out of a tree in winter A refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +28

roses are red violets are blue dinosaurs are extinct obama is black

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you call shark with no dorsal fin? Unused ingredients for soup.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender, millions of times larger than the infinitesimally small subatomic particle, does not hear his question and so does not reply.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Knock knock? Who's there? Why don't you answer the damn door and find out for yourself?

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops