I like my women like I like my coffee... 2 cream 1 sugar.

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Q: Why did the guy ring the doorbell? A: Because he was sick of all the crappy knock-knock jokes

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Little Miss Muffett sat on her tuffet eating her curds and whey along came her food allergies and she died

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What's worse than having a zit on your face? Getting blue waffle.. google if you don't know what blue waffle is..

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Life is like a box of chocolates, quite strange to enjoy when you're single.

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1 I've been diagnosed with-- 2 I don't give a f*ck, go die in a hole!

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There once was a man from Peru, he dreamt he was eating his shoe, he then woke up, took a shower, changed, and drove to work.

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Why was the jew crying? He just found out his newborn baby had twenty minutes to live.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's a woman.

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What did the man do when he found a lost dog in his yard? He shot it. This was a very old, lonely, and distressed man with many unresolved problems resulting from his childhood in poverty.

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What did the psychopath say to the firefighter? Can you lend me a few bucks? My clothes are dirty and I need to go to the launromat.

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What did the boy say to his father? I don't know. With the seemingly infinite number of topics that two people could discuss and the fact that both the father and son are fictional, it would be unreasonable and border edge mentally unstable for me to assume that you would know what they may or may not be talking about.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What is long and painful? It's a sword, get your mind out of the gutter.

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Q: Why did the kid cross the playground? A: To get to the other slide

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What's the best rabbit for a black person?

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What's 1 + 1? Fish. What's 2+2? Window. pie.

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Why does Owen Wilson have an ugly nose? Because of his refusal to get plastic surgery.

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Guess what I saw today?..........Nothing I'm Blind.

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Chuck Norris.

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Two friends go on a hunting trip together. One friend says to the other "Knock, knock." The other friend doesn't respond because he was mauled by a bear.

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Q: What is a laptop that sings? A: A Dell

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Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

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2 men walk into a bar. 3 come out

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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