Your mamas so fat that she went to the doctor and he said she has a very high case of diabetes so now she's trying to excerise more and watching what she eats.

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What is white, black and blue all over? A zebra that was assaulted by Chuck Norris.

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Why did the duck cross road? It didn't, it got ran over.

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What do you call a lepucaun leaping in a feild of flowers, on christmas? Ground beef.

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What should you do when you're constipated? Poop.

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Racial Equality

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being the worm.

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In 2030, what will most people be doing for a living? Using food stamps.

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Vagina (Note: If you are gay just move on by.)

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In Soviet Russia, this type of joke would be considered evidence to throw you into the gulag.

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Why don't jews believe in Jesus Because jews believe Jesus Christ was not their savior

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens can walk wherever the hell they want. Leave them alone.

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What do you call five gay men walking in the same direction? I don't know the usual human does not take note of such circumstance.

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So I said to the man "That's no banana, thats my wife!"

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Trust me, you are that kind of girl, and no, you are not nerdy, you are open and down to ground, while your beautiful exterior means a lot to me (I am a man, its the way I am), I would never have wanted to talk to you or even less visit you with a pack (make it five packs) of condoms, if you where the awkward Asperger kind of gal, so how old are you, like seriously?

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Why did the man jump into the river? He wanted to go for a swim, but the pool was closed, so he swam in the river.

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How could you wake up Lady Gaga? poke her face

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If I have 7 oranges in one hand and 8 oranges in the other, what do I have? Big hands!

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why did the blind man crash his car? he had down syndrome.

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Why didn't the women make her husband a sandwitch? Because she was struck by a car as a young child and was told she could never walk again. Her family couldn't afford a wheelchair so therefore she is bedridden all day.

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Knock knock. who's there? Banana. Banana Who? Knock KNOCK!!! WHO IS THERE!!! BANANA!!!! BANANA WHOOOOO!!! Banana Johnson....... I'M YOUR NEIGHBOR!!!!

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Why was six afraid of seven? Back when seven was in Vietnam, he sufferd Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and constantly has flash backs and irrational thoughts of six being with the veitnamese alliance and tries to viciously molest six whenever he runs out of anxiety medication.

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Please give money to a local Jew we have had such a bad time please ONLY people who are Jews.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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