Why did the plane crash? The pilot lost control of the plane.

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A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

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How did the retarded, blind child win the Special Olympics? He didn't, he died of terminal lung cancer the year before. R.I.P.

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Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

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Why was the man late for work? Because he slept in.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Yesterday I was diagnosed with Depression... It made me sad.

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What's the quickest way to a man's heart? A knife.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was scary.. made by Kevin Kool

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Beating cancer. Guess Steve Jobs they didn't make an app for that.

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What happenes if you put an elephant in the fridge? Nothing, it wouldnt fit.

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Why did Jimmy miss a question on his test? He put D

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Q: What is black and can't support a family? A: A bowling ball

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-Knock knock! -Who's there? -Pizza. That'll be 20 bucks. -Here you go. -Thank you.

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How do you teach an old dog a new trick? Answer: You can't

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? a fridge was thrown at her

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it was hit by a car

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in every apple.

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what do you call a kid with no arms and legs under a bus an ambulance, he's obviously in pain

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Where did Susie go during the explosion? On her knees to catch it.

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How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

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whats worse than worldwarII world war iii

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A blind man walks in a bar I mean like a metal bar But it didn't hurt He only laught

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have down syndrome duh dusfy druah

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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