a, b, c, d, e, f, g, h, i, j, k, l, m, n, o, p, q, refrigerator.

A duck walks into a bar "Can I have some brandy, please" says the duck The bartender then proceeds to make millions because he was the first to discover a talking duck

Why did the chicken cross the road? Solely for our entertainment purposes.

What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

H o m o comes out as homo

What is the difference between a woman and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other is the most common term for adult females of the human race.

What did the paper say to the pen? Nothing, they are inanimate objects!

Three black men were walking...

Half koala, half walrus, behold...the Koalrus!

There's an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman. They are all trapped in a jail cell. Eventually they all starved to death.

A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya" the man replies: "whisky."

What do you get when two chickens cross a road? -Salmonella stricken hobos

What has two arms and two legs? A human being.

How do you stop a black man from spitting? People of all races and colours are quite within their right to spit on their own property whenever they wish. However if anyone spits on or near you, you could report him to the police, but don't expect to be taken seriously.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a passing car.

A nhiger walked up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand. "do you have any lemonade" the man said "no. we don't serve nhigers lemonade. but you can drink your own piss boy, thats home made.." the nhiger waddled away (waddle waddle) till the very next day. The nhiger walked up to the lemonade stand with a lawsuit file right in his hand and said "you are legally required to serve me lemonade" the man said "fu(k you nhiger go back to where you came go back to Africa it's full of aids" the nhiger said "goodbye".... i'm too lazy too finish this off so i'll spoil the ending, the nhiger was actually a smelly pakistanian, which was actually a dirty chi-nk in costume. let's just say lawsuits were filed but the lemonade stand owner had casey anthony's lawyer and in the end never had to serve fu-cking nhiger ,smelly pakies or dirty chin-ks again :) The End. Happily Ever After.

What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing, his mouth was full of it's intestines.

A priest, a rabbi, and a monk are standing near a cliff. They say that they are of the best religion. The priest jumps off the cliff and says "God save me", he dies. The rabbi says "Allah save me", he dies. The monk says "Buddha save me" he is saved, in relief he says "Oh thank God" he dies

Nah, could not care less about how I sound on "The network", its just that I spent all night finishing the core concept to my new novel, and all the capital letters and stuff sound like Jim Carrey in my head as I type. So Redcunt, where you going? When you coming back?

Why can't Stephen Hawking run a marathon? Because it takes years of hard training to accomplish such a remarkable feat.

It's valentines today! My girlfriend died.

11th September jokes are just plane wrong.

your mom is so fat, she stepped on the scale and said, "I really need to eat better and I'm thinking about getting a gym membership." She did so, and she lost so much weight that all her friends congratulated her everywhere she went, and some didn't even recognize her.

Why was timmy having trouble with his homework? Because lobotomies were a forced practice in the 1950's.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...