I went to the opticians to get my eyes checked. The optician said "you need glasses".

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what gets louder as it get smaller? a baby in a blender

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Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Sorry, what? your door is kind of thick.

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Q:When do you club a newborn baby? A:Whenever you want to because babies are stupid

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Dylan F fell off a bridge Landed in some water and was ok 2 days later he got bit by a shark He is now in a coma

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Wanna hear the most repeated joke on anti jokes? Why did [insert name here] fall off the swing? Because he/she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not [insert name here].

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How do you get a priest to cry? Stab him.

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Yo momma so stupid, she failed the 2nd grade math

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Why did thw chicken cross the road? Because his parents died.

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What do you put in a toaster? Toast, oh wait, it's bread

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Reading another damn "worm in your apple" joke.

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What do you get if you put a horse in a blender? Dinner

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www.xnxx.com

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Q: What is harder than cleaning off baby bloodstains off a wall? A: Cleaning multiple baby blood stains off a wall.

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A Mexican, a black man and a Pakistani walk into a bar. Everyone immediately runs out seeing the potential danger in the situation that's about to unfold.

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What did the politician say to the other politician? We are both politicians.

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You know what pansies remind me of? What? A flower

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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Hitler wasn't that bad... He DID kill Hitler.

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KONY 2012! *world rises up cheering in spontaneous patriotism for Africa* Leader of KONY 2012 arrested for public masturbation

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how do you burn a lot of calories? set a fat kid on fire

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A boy says he is going to commit suicide. To stop him, a friend tells him not to do it, he'll regret it later in life.

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Asians

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"Lady's and Gentlemen, hobos and trams Cross side mosquitoes and bald legged ants Pull up a chair and sit on the floor and I'll tell you I've never heard before Of one bright day in the middle of night Two dead boys got up to fight Back to Back they faced each other Drew their swords and shot each other A deaf policeman heard the noise Came and killed the two dead boys If you don't believe this lie is true Ask the blind man he saw it too"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops