What do you do after a murder kills your entire family? Nothing, he killed you too

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Q:How do you kill an Elephant? A:With an Elephant gun Q:How do you kill a blue Elephant? A:With a blue Elephant gun. Q:How do you kill a purple Elephant? A:With a purple Elephant gun. Q:How do you kill a red Elephant? A:There is no such thing.

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Who did the man call when his house was on fire? He called his mother as the firefighters put out the fire.

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A woman catches her husband cheating on her she divorces him in a rather lengthy sequence of meetings in court

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A three-legged prostitute, a coal miner, and R. Kelly walk into an all-midget rendition of Stravinsky's Rite of Spring. The miner has a heart attack and dies. The concubine and the vocalist do nothing to help.

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What's the difference between a plumber and a husband? Both fuck the same women when the other is away.

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why was the boy sad his whole family just died in a plane crash

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Why did the man shoot himself? Because he already shot his wife.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Why did FiddleBob Joe chuck a stick of butter out the window? Because he wanted to see a butter fly

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Trust me, you are that kind of girl, and no, you are not nerdy, you are open and down to ground, while your beautiful exterior means a lot to me (I am a man, its the way I am), I would never have wanted to talk to you or even less visit you with a pack (make it five packs) of condoms, if you where the awkward Asperger kind of gal, so how old are you, like seriously?

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick... Jack didn't make it over the candle stick and died.

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How could you wake up Lady Gaga? poke her face

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Your Mama's so fat she can't fit into a toy car!

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Why did the man jump into the river? He wanted to go for a swim, but the pool was closed, so he swam in the river.

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If I have 7 oranges in one hand and 8 oranges in the other, what do I have? Big hands!

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Did you just admit being considerate? I do not care about who gets the last comment anymore, I need to tear my face away from the screen ASAP.

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Where do you find a good lawyer? In the cemetary

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Why don't jews believe in Jesus Because jews believe Jesus Christ was not their savior

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What did the old person find on the internet? Porn.

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In Soviet Russia, this type of joke would be considered evidence to throw you into the gulag.

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Why do people make jokes about cancer? Oviously to get thier ass kicked!!! -BY:KOLBY HOOKS

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Why was the white man chosen for the job over the black guy? He had more work experience and was clearly the better suited applicant.

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In 2030, what will most people be doing for a living? Using food stamps.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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