A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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What do you call 2 black guys hanging out with a white girl? An inter-racial couple helping out their black friend whose wife just died of terminal cancer.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog Woof.

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women's rights

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There are two muffins in a oven, the first muffin is chocolate chip and the second muffin is blueberry.

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When time is the best time to make a wish during the day? 9:11

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Adolf Hitler.

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Question: You are in a bed between a hot chick and a gay guy, who do you turn your back to? Answer: False, I am to unattractive to find myself in bed with anybody else.

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill two and a half men

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What do you get when you cross Winter Squash, Beets, Ham, Coffee, Spinach, Hexamine, Cadmium, Detergent, and some love? A bowl full of crap.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, my eyes are bleeding

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Theory: Jesus: Father why must I go die in order to defeat sin, is sin not a product of humans? God: SHHH! You want humans to know they are stronger than us? Real life: Later on the cross Jesus: FATHER WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! God: *Thunder* Moral: Makes sense... Kinda? Maybe? A bit? I honestly do not get it :(

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How do you get 2x1=4? Do the wrong math.

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White boy in jail. "That ish crazy!!"

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What smells like satans pubic hair and dresses like a woman? Vinny Trolia

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What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? A Coffin.

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How do you fit 10 dead babies in a bowl? A blender How do you get them out? Chips

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what's wrong on so many levels? wrong wrong wrong wrong

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Did you hear that Jerry Sandusky won the swimming race? He's in very good shape for a man his age.

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What is full of water and drowning people A pool

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Why did octopus cross the road? Because the road was underwater

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Why did Tiarnan not ride is bike to school today. Tiarnan's dead.

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why was the water bottle empty? because bob drank it. stupid bob...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops