roses are red violets are blue wendy williams looks like a man roses are red violets are blue i coach penn state pull down your pants

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Q: What's soft, fuzzy, and lives in the woods? A: Yeti

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why can't Micheal J. Fox draw a perfectly straight line? It is impossible for humans to draw perfect lines.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Bob: "Knock knock." Gerald: "who's there?" Bob: "your worst nightmare." Gerald: "your worst nightmare who?" Bob kicks open the door, kills Gerald, ties up his wife, sells his kids to slavery, and burns his house down.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Hey do you want to hear the joke about my d**k?? I cant tell it because it's to long

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Q: What's worst than the Holocaust? A: 6 million Jews

thumb_up thumb_down -41

What happen? Idk...

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

why did the kid drop his toy? a dog was ripping out his throat

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Where is the center of the universe? There is no center of the universe! According to the standard theories of cosmology, the universe started with a "Big Bang" about 14 thousand million years ago and has been expanding ever since. Yet there is no center to the expansion; it is the same everywhere. The Big Bang should not be visualised as an ordinary explosion. The universe is not expanding out from a center into space; rather, the whole universe is expanding and it is doing so equally at all places, as far as we can tell. In 1929 Edwin Hubble announced that he had measured the speed of galaxies at different distances from us, and had discovered that the farther they were, the faster they were receding. This might suggest that we are at the center of the expanding universe, but in fact if the universe is expanding uniformly according to Hubble's law, then it will appear to do so from any vantage point. If we see a galaxy B receding from us at 10,000 km/s, an alien in galaxy B will see our galaxy A receding from it at 10,000 km/s in the opposite direction. Another galaxy C twice as far away in the same direction as B will be seen by us as receding at 20,000 km/s. The alien will see it receding at 10,000 km/s:

thumb_up thumb_down -45

What's so sad about a bus with mentally handicapped children falling off a cliff? There was one empty seat.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

What happens when a super saiyan eats a fully grown pineapple? hehe xd

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Knock knock... Whose there? Patrick Oh hey, come in...

thumb_up thumb_down -51

What's the difference between a Obama and a drug-dealer? Obama is the president and a drug-dealer has lost his life to the awful streets.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

What's a group of people that has an N, an I, two Gs, an E and an R that have no souls? Gingers.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

What did batman say to robin before getting into the bat mobile? Don't touch my penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to a chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +60

What's wrong with the axe murderer that lives down the street?? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Why did the chicken cross the road? He looked both ways and saw there was no traffic.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Why couldn't the black man swim? Both of his legs were just eaten by a shark.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

what did bob say to joey, nothing joey's dead

thumb_up thumb_down +46

poop nuff said

thumb_up thumb_down +44

roses are black violets are grey... im color blind sorry

thumb_up thumb_down +44

A horse walks into a bar. He was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops