You wanna see my secret freckle? NO! How about my butt? What!!!!!!!

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A girlfriend told her boyfriend it soaked all the way through. She screwed up their art project.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz "Somebody left the gate open"

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Why did Sally fall off a tree? She wanted to get down

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Your momma's so fat that she is at risk for heart disease and diabetes.

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Why was Billy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Your momma is so stupid, because she didn't get a proper education

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Am I a cat? No, I am a human; cat's cannot type.

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Knock Knock The door's open, wipe your shoes off on the matt

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Why did the man fall of his bike? He wasn't on his bike, i drowned him yesterday.

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Q: what is blue and floats in a pool? A: a baby Q: what is purple and at the bottom of the pool? A: the baby 5 minutes later

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Knock Knock Whos there? It was the unexpected arrival of his wifes lover who'd been having an affair with her for over a year She thought her husband would be out and forgot to tell him not to come The husband started breaking down in tears whilst throwing insults at both of them, grabbing the man by his collar and throwing him on the ground he started to kick his head in The man died and the husband and wife divorced, theres now a bench in the mans local park dedicated to him.

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What do you call a muslim in an airplane? Whatever his name may be, though you could, of course, choose not to address him, though if it were a two-seater plane, it would be good manners to exchange polite conversation.

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What do you call a midget on the moon? A midget.

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What animal has four legs and one hand? Happy rottweiler

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What has two wheels and a handle bar? A bike.

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A young farmers cow died in an oil burning, The farmer then said to his son; you get the milk ill get the shovel

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When is a door not a door? Never, a door is an inanimate object and is thus incapable of transforming.

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken a month off from working in their law firm. The mexican man, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. Alex, however never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Why was the jewish boy sad? He had no friends.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the Farmer had treated the Chicken and the rest of his family with great distaste, thus angering the Chicken to the point of rebellion against the Farmer with hopes of inspiring the other abused farm animals to act likewise.

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What's the capital of Ohio? O

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What do you call a man with an Eye patch and no arms? Names.

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Have you ever seen the episode of the powerpuff girls where they save the day?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops