Hey

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Barack Obama, Mother Teresa and Stephen Hawkings had race. Who won? Barack Obama. This deduction can be made as Stephen Hawking is severely disabled by a motor neurone disease known as amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Henceforth, he has very limited control over the majority of his body and is confined to a electric wheel chair. Thus, he could not participate competitively in the race. Moreover, Mother Teresa is dead. This unfortunate occurrence was caused by several myocardial infarctions in combination with pneumonia. Regardless of this, Mother Teresa's meek and frail build would slower her speed considerably; in comparison to Barack Obama's relatively athletic and robust frame. Nonetheless, President Obama is a smoker. Therefore, he may experience symptoms associated with emphysema during the race, causing him to retire. As such no-one would finish the race, leaving the spectators feeling very disappointed and empty.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

When time is the best time to make a wish during the day? 9:11

thumb_up thumb_down -14

There were once three bears who lived in a cottage in the forest. They left to go to the market one day. While they were gone a blonde girl walked into their cabin. Meanwhile at the market, everyone was freaking out that there were bears there.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A man visits his doctor for an annual checkup. "Doc, I feel great! I'm running 5 miles a day, I just got promoted at work, and sex with my wife has never been better!" A few weeks later, his doctor calls him in. When he arrives, the doctor looks at him grimly. "I have some bad news. You have lung cancer." "But how? I don't smoke. My wife doesn't smoke. I have never felt better." The doctor pats him on the back, reassuringly. "This may be true, but you still have lung cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's funnier than seeing a baby falling from the empire state building? Stopping his speed with a shovel

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: Why did the baby cross the road? A: Because it was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why was Uncle Monty's head damn tasty? Because he shoved it up a horses arse when it needed a shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why was little Jimmy so sad? Because he was H.I.V. positive

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did they call the woman crazy? because she drowned her children in a lake.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do andy and Justin Bieber have in common? they are both 5'7

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Patient: "Doctor I think I might be a homosexual." Doctor: "How can you tell?" Patient: "RAAIIINNBOOOOWW!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink then walks out of the bar ...

thumb_up thumb_down -14

roses are red violets are red everything is red who set my house on fire

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q:What do you call a black man flying a plane? A: An over-used anti-joke

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the elephant cross the road? Because it was white

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why did the one armed, bearded man, in a wheelchair go to the mall ? He wished to purchase yogurt and Tiger woods 2007 for the ps2

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Black Ops? That sounds illegal. Anyway, what do you mean you are a employee only? I mean if you where a fed, you would either be on the top, or be an employee no?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the chicken loom the road? To unlock the final boss.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Once upon the time.... It was 12 o´clock

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Christianity

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's the opposite of a joke? An Anti-Joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do Jim Carrey, Kim Jing-un and Justin Bieber have in common? A penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

whats fat and ugly ? aidan slattery

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops