What did the boy say when he got hit by a car? Nothing, he punctured his lungs.

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Why did the man say ow? He got his dick caught in his zipper.

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A girl cries as she drops a box of uncooked spaghetti noodles, spilling and breaking them onto the floor. She has brittle bone disease.

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What happends to a monkey without arms.. He bleeds..

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why was the blonde fired from the factory? she ate the maneger's fingers.

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What did one Stoner say to the other? "I'm hungry, let's order pizza."

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I found someone on the ground who wasn't breathing and had no pulse.They must have been in a damn deep sleep.

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how many A.D.D. kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?lets go play!

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What did the man say when he saw an orange? That's not a banana.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? About 1 or 2, then the neighbors would phone the police and you would be arrested for infanticide.

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Q:where did the little kid go? A:wait, before or after i killed him

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get in the car.

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What does a black guy do to a white girl when the lights go off and there's a bed in the room? They go to sleep so they can have enough energy to work their two jobs and provide for their family after they've been evicted from their home.

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Why Is Helen Keller such a bad driver? Because she is a woman

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What do you call a black person who just received a bachlors degree from Havard? A very educated human being.

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there once was a cat it was brown? fus-roh-dah

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Why don't elderly people act their age? because they die.

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I like your hair

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What's black, hairy, and full of hate? Hitler's moustache.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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What did the black man say to the white man? Nothing. He punched him in the face and stole his iPhone.

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there is a blonde, red head, and brunet held captive in afghanistan. The people say whats your last word to the red head, she says tornado... they turned and she escaped, they say to the brunet what is your last word, she says tsunami.. they turn and she escaped. They go to the blonde and say what is your last word, she says fire... she is then shot rapidly and she dies.

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A man with a mustache enters your parents home to tell them you were kidnapped and taken to the pier 1 hour away. They leave and he goes upstairs to rape you for 1 hour. Never trust people with mustaches.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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