I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

whats red round and gets smaller? a baby combing its hair with a potatoe peeler

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why do black people like bananas? Because bananas have potassium which therefore gives them bigger muscles, which is why they excel at every sport we white people suck at.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

oh no, i've lost my tractor

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a terrorist.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Yo momma so fat when god said let there be let he said get the fuck out the way!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What is a dog's favorite color? None,dogs have colorblindness.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

the holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why? Why Not?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the nerd say to his friend regarding the test they had just taken? - Nothing, he doesn't have any friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's worse than bad words? People who say them

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What has three eyes, scales, seventeen stomachs, and can produce milk? Nothing. Nature has not yet evolved any animal to these specifications.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Was that last joke funny? Well this one isn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Your mom is so skinny that she may have anorexia, yet she could treat it so she doesn't die.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the black man approach a small white girl in the alley? He was knew in town and needed directions

thumb_up thumb_down -17

a retard walks into a bar a bruise appeared on his head

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

thumb_up thumb_down -17

why is everyone always picking on ruth? because they just do

thumb_up thumb_down -17

It was Valentines Day today, I thought I should get her something... I brought flowers to her grave.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Did you hear about the german girl who had sex and died................. it was 50 years later after she had a family of about five kids and lived a happy life as a nurse

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the doctor say to his patient? You were supposed to die 12 seconds ago....

thumb_up thumb_down -17

There's two sausages in a pan.. One says "Wow it's hot in here" The other says... "agrhhh a talking sausage"

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops