Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah

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Whats the difference between a black an white guy? They have different skin tones

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What did your mom make me for Christmas... ...An apple pie because she is a very nice lady

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how do you confuse a blonde? shes already confused Leave.Her.Alone.

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Yeah, me too. The car just ran straight through the stoplight and it was all over...

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A priest, R Kelly, and Michael Jackson walk into a bar. They proceed to molest small children.

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Knock Knock Who's there? ........

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Why doesn't the boy get anything for Christmas? His parents died the night before!

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What do you call a hit and run victim with multiple injuries? An ambulance.

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So, today I was walking down the street... I met a black guy.

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What did the doctor say to his patient? Doctors are not allowed to give out personal information involving their patients.

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2 guys at a funeral. "did you know the girl?" asks one of the guys. "No" replies the other. "Me neither."

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What did one chick in a clothes shop say to another? That's cheap

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A Pakistani news reader.

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Why was the man with one leg good at balancing on one foot? He used crutches.

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Q: What's the capital of Ohio A: O

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You are a special guy, and I mean that in a really sweet way, but a retard no. Synapses, tell me more please.

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Q. How do you get a black man out of a tree? A. You get a ladder and help him down

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a horse walks into a bar the bartender says "why such the long face?" the horse is now crying in tears because the bartender made him. by Brennan pickrell

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What do ghosts get whaen they watch porn ? a boner

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want to hear a funny joke? what a coincidence so do I!

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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Why did the woman spray a black man in the eyes with pepper spray, then promptly run away? Because the woman was a notorious criminal and was currently robbing the man's house, but was caught in the act so she used pepper spray as her last line of defense while she fled from the scene before the man could call the police to detain her and put her in prison for her crimes.

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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