Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house? A: babies lack the intelligence and motor skills to accomplish such a task so it is not practical to hire them for a painting job.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it most likely saw a shiny object and wanted to play with it. Luckily there was no cars passing at the time but the parents should be more careful to keep thier child in sight and away from peril. That and the baby found a small piece of glass that could be harmful to it....

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She had no arms.

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What do you call a swimming pool full of black people? A family enjoying their holiday.

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how do you get a happy man to stop smiling? hit him in the face repeatedly untill he is dead.

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Why did little Sally throw a stick of butter out the window? Sally had a burning hatred for dairy products.

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knock knock who's there your family just died your family just died who? -.-

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Lil' Johnny was happily swinging on the swings when all of a sudden...... ==]::::> ==]::::> ==]::::> ==]::::> ==]::::> ==]::::> FLYING DAGGERS!!!

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Roses are dead. Violets are dead. I'm a bad gardener.

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What has a mouth but cant talk Helen keller What has eyes but cant see Helen keller What has ears but cant hear You guessed it an ear of corn

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If video games were peaceful. Man! You are so strait! That was so good man! GG.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis

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What did the man who brutally raped and murdered his infant daughter say? He didn't.

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A blonde walks into a bar a uses the restroom. She needed to pee.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For a legitimate reason

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What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? An amputation.

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Why couldn't the kid get in to see the pirate movie? It was rated PG-13, and he was only 11. Plus, he had no money, and his mother didn't want him watching movies like that.

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An iman, a rabbi and a priest walk into a bar. It's not the same bar. They feel uncomfortable mixing together and this makes me sad.

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Chrysanthemums our orange violettes are musical

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Why didn't the boy drop his ice cream He was hit by a bus and he wasn't eating ice cream

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Knock knock Who's there? Prosti Prosti who? Prostitute

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Why did the black guy smell fried chicken? He had a brain tumour

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Q. Whats green jumps up and down and then red? A.A frog in a mixer

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What happens when two black people go into a store with masks on? They buy candy for Trick-or-Treating

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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