Whys it so cold? Nuclear winter.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The bailiffs, we have come to take your house

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What has two legs and is covered in red. Half a dog.

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Why did the black man cross the road? Black people don't exist.

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Why is Skrillex bad at fishing? Lack of experience.

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Why did the elephants get in a taxi? They were going to the airport.

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Actually, Ylvis had a dog named Say. When he peed in the studio one evening, Ylvis said, "What the fuck, Say?"

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Q: What did the black kid get for Chirstmas? A: Your bike

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How many black people does it take to solve a complex physics equation? Trick question

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Q: How do you make three atheists cry? A: Kill their families.

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Why did the fish cross the road? Because fish don't have legs and can't walk anywhere

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Dyeing of cancer.

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A flea walks into a bar. Nobody notices because it is a very small insect

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Why did the boy drown? Because he was actually a brick. I lied about him being a boy.

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How do you drown a blond? By being an insane murderer!

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How do you make an electrician cry? You cut off his friend's penis.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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OH LOOK I'M A SAILOR I KNOW NAUTICAL PHRASES! LIKE...... KNOTS AND MAST AND SHIP AND SEA AND STUFF

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Why couldn't the blonde bride make it to her own wedding? She had another unplanned circumstance occur and the wedding was postponed until next week.

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Okay, this is a real joke: A guy slips on a banana and falls down in the most funny way ever, so a girl nearby starts laughing when she suddenly realizes the guy is bleeding profoundly, so she runs over to help, but it turns out the blood was just ketchup so... Just then they both got run over and killed by a car.

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Why the mentally challenged man enter the bar? He's tired of being subject hate and criticism. He hates being the subject of jokes and being pointed at. He may not be able to tell you what 3x6 is, but he still has feelings. So because of all these inconsiderate people judging him, he now spends his days at the local bar, drowning his sorrows away in alcohol. I hope your happy.

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Why didn't the Hawaiian man know how to surf? He lives in Kansas

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? A: Bob.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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