What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? Finishing the wheelchair.

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two ducks run into each other........ then they walk away

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What's brown and sticky? The british econonic system from 2 May 1997 to 27 June 2007.

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Hey, did you guys hear what happened the Steve Jobs? He died.

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What do you call a white man takeing orders from a black man? Batman and robin

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What happened when man put a dog in the blender? He got arrested for Animal abuse

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What did the Christian say to the Muslim. Nothing. He understood his right to have a opinion even if his religion is against it.

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What did the blind, deaf orphan get for Easter? Hepatitis.

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split your ass cheek

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What did the bat say to the human? Nothing because bats make too high of frequency noises for humans to understand

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Yo mama's so fat when they asked her if she wanted fries with that she said yes

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a man walks into a bar. he gets a beer and talks to his friends. he then goes home.

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A: If you were stranded on an island and you could only have one thin, what would it be? B: A boat A: That makes sense

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Nah, could not care less about how I sound on "The network", its just that I spent all night finishing the core concept to my new novel, and all the capital letters and stuff sound like Jim Carrey in my head as I type. So Redcunt, where you going? When you coming back?

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Bob: Oh, there was a big surfing competition in Hawaii. Bill: that's really cool. Bob: yeah, there were huge waves up to 53 feet. Bill: Awesome! Bob: Yeah there was a Japanese guy that won. Bill: Wow, that will bring up the spirits of japan. Bob: Yeah, but he got disqualified. Bill: No, how?!?! Bob: he was surfing on his dresser.

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you're mommas so fat that her doctor says she is morbitly obese and may die of a heart failure later in life

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Knock knock who's there? the police, your under arrest the police your under arrest who? BAM! sir, I'm placing you under arrest for the murder of your wife, anything you say or do can be used against you. IT WASN'T ME!!!! yeah yeah tell it the judge

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Yo momma's so fat she got her own zip code! except she doesn't because zip codes are reserved for much larger areas than that of your mother.

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A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

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What's worse then an adult dying A baby dying

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What follows 2 days of rain? Statistically more rain, but you'll have to check the weather report to be sure.

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Why didn't the disabled kid cross the road? He didn't make it.

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I agree

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Whats the difference between a black man and a paraplegic? A paraplegic doesn't walk out on his family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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