What do you call two lesbians in a canoe? Women.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

*Phone rings* Hello? Hi, is your refrigerator running? No, it actually broke down yesterday. Are you the repair man? Yes, the repairs will cost $400

What did the Black construction worker say to the Asian salesman? I want some milk.

Got Milk? Why yes! Yes I do!

Did you hear about the plane that crashed and killed 1000 people? My sister has cancer.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being in an abusive relationship.

Why couldnt Julia find her cat? she has gone crazy from old age, her cat actually died 10 years ago

Knock, knock No, I do not want to hear about God.

FREE SEX! Now that I have your attention.............

Person 1: Hey Person 2: What's up? Person 1: Kill Yoself Person 2: Alright

Why does the Green Giant's vegetables taste funny? He stands over his peas and corn.

why did suzy drop her ice cream? she got hit by a bus. knock knock! who's there? not suzy.

Roses are blue Violets are red I shot your valentine Straight in the head

Why do turtles walk slow? They are physically incapable of walking fast.

where did suzie go when the bomb hit her?? Everywhere

Why wasn't the drunk driver arrested when he killed a man? Because he died as well.

whats purple and has legs? Nothing, i lied about both

Roses are red violets are blue this is an anti joke so like this

Why is this room orange? Because I painted it orange. You didn't paint it; my mom painted it.

ask me if im deaf. are you deaf? ...............

How do you make a puppy stop barking? Throw a brick at it.

Why did the drunk driver get into an accident? It was a woman.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...