What's brown and smells like paint? -Poop. I don't know why it smells like paint though..

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What's worse than being killed? Reading these jokes.

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Q - What do you call a hamburger without pickles? A - You call it a hamburger just without the pickles.

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What happened to the soccer player when he got kicked in the leg..... He cried on the ground for hours even though there is padding there

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whats long, black, and smells like shit? a big turd

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your hair smells nice, especially when woven into a sweater.

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What is small, black and has 18 legs? A centipede with 82 legs cut off.

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how do you know Newcastle are losing? its 5 past 3

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A duck, a rabbi, a homosexual, and the president walk into a bar. As a result, bruises appeared on their foreheads.

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What do you get when you put the head of a lion on the body of an eagle?2 dead animals and a fine for killing protected species.

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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Why did the moogle cross the road? Kupo kupo kupopo!

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Why did the monkey fall out the tree, He was dead

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer we're both lawyers

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After visiting the dentist, Ke$ha had sixteen cavities because brushing your teeth with bottles of jack causes plaque to build up.

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How do you turn a broken skateboard into a gleaming Rolls Royce? With magic.

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What's white and likes to likes to take frequent jogs? Stephen Hawkings, I meant so say remain motionless

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What did walt disney say to the Jew? Nothing. Walt Disney didn't know the man was Jewish and didn't have time to make himself acquainted with the fellow.

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what did the boy with no hands get for christmas Gloves!!! just kidding i dont know he hasnt opened the box yet

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What are the last words of a child dieing of cancer ? Nothing because he is to ill to speak

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what do you call a pond filled with frogs having sex with bacteria is burning there insides while a midget with assburgers is chanting "SMACK THAT BADONKADONK!" racism..

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What did the lone KKK member do when he passed 10 large, muscular black men in the street? He did not tell them that he was a member of the KKK.

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Hi

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Chuck Norris and 2 other cowboys were out in the old west. After a long day of travel in the desert, the three of them set up camp for the night. Having sat around their fire silently for some time, the first of the cowboys decided to speak up. "You know," he said, "I believe I am the manliest man here! Why, this one time I was riding all alone through the desert on my manly horse when I stumbled upon a town that had no name. Upon entering the town, I realized that the townspeople were in a panic. Everyone was fleeing for their lives and screaming. So I grabbed the nearest woman to me around the neck and demanded of her, 'What the hell is going on around here?!!!' The woman, terrified, only managed to stammer and point. Low and behold, there was a wild bull skewering people through the heart. So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and grabbed the bull by the horns and looked him straight in the eyes, broke his neck, crushed his testicles, rammed my fist into his chest, pulled out his heart and ate it! That is how much of a man I am!" There was silence quite for a while. Soon the other cowboy cleared his voice and said: "You, know, that's pretty good, but I am more of a man than that! Why, this one time, me and a few of my manly buddies were off on a horse trip. I was bringing up the rear of the line when all of a sudden I heard a commotion at the front of the line. Kicking my fine horse with my spurs, I raced ahead to see what was the matter. Low and behold, there was a twenty-foot rattler that had consumed my friend whole! So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and ran over to the snake, grabbed him around the neck, crushed his testicles, bit off his head, sucked the venom from its cold, lifeless body and then spit it upon the dry ground like acid! That is how much of a man I am!" After this, there was another silence. The two cowboys looked one another over, each recognizing the other to be a fine specimen of what it is to be a man. They then both patiently waited to hear Chuck Norris' response. But there was only silence. Off in the distance an owl hooted. A coyote howled. Still, silence. Chuck Norris didn't say a word; he merely continued to sit calmly and stir the coals of the fire with his penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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