Chuck Norris walks into a bank. There is a long line to get to the teller. Chuck Norris waits patiently in line.

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Sarah: Knock knock. Jim: Who’s there? Sarah: It’s me, Sarah. Open the door. Jim: It’s me Sarah open the door who? Sarah: Please Jim, it’s freezing out here. Jim: That wasn’t a very funny joke, Sarah. Sarah: Shut the fuck up and let me in. Jim: Ok.

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How do white people screw in light bulbs? They read a manual.

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What's worse than dropping your ice cream? Getting a virus that slowly deteriorates your body from the inside out.

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Why don't NBA basketball players shake hands after a game like players in NHL hockey...? ...Because it's a tradition in then NHL.

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Ask if I'm a aardvark. Are you a aardvark? Yes.

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A prostitute has sex with a man. She gave him herpes.

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No, you think faster smarter and harder than everyone I know, you change and adapt faster for each day, sometimes I just think one has to stop asking oneself what makes one happy, and simply choose to be happy.

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Is the boy sleeping? No, he's dead!

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Your momma so stupid that it's really inspiring she managed to overcome her limitations and raise such a wonderful family.

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Your mamas so old she died of old age, R.I.P.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting thrown in to a car and raped violently.

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What is my cats favorite college? Harvard

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Why did my penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

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An old couple walks up to me and says, "can you take our picture? It's our 50th anniversary." I reply, "sure." Then I pull the man to the side and ask, "how do you make a relationship last so long? I can't make one last 50 days let alone years." He leans in and says, "cheat"

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What did the blonde say to the chicken? mmm, delicious

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You just died, and I'm laughing at you and your extremely ugly face.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a convicted serial killer.

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how many neggers does it take to screw in a light bul.... Nvm, Neggers be too busy screwing ur wife, plus they're lazy.

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learn the ropes?

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Knock knock, Who's there? The cops, your parents are dead and now you are an orphan.

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I killed someone today. :D

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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What doesn't kill you leaves you in a coma.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops