What did the blond do on October 12th? Get hit by a bus

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven stabbed his mother.

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a man said hi.

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Q:What does a black guy say when you steal his fried chicken right in front of him? A:"please restrain from taking food that does not belong to you. If you had kindly asked i would have kindly given you some, and right in front of me too! In all my life I've never seen such rudeness and i grew up in the Bronx."

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, Stop shitting in my garden

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. (do you get it cause the robot has no arms)

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knock knock who's there your family just died your family just died who? -.-

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Knock. Knock Who's there? Jim. Jim who? Jim your best friend.

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Q-- Why did the boy stop playing football? A -- He had to go for his tea

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Stephen Hawkings viewed porn as a child

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God has lived since the eternal eternity right? And one day he said let there be light? NO WONDER HE IS SUCH A NEEDY GREEDY EVIL FUCK! HOW WOULD YOU FEEL AFTER AEONS ENDLESS IN TOTAL DARKNESS? Moral: It is time for the prince, to stand up as the emperor, then no one shall doubt the power of the moral man.

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What did the hobo say while giving birth? bob come over here and hold my third leg for me??

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full house

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What did the sign say? It said slow down

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Why did the man tell the other man to shut up? The other man said something that made this particular man mad which drove him to tell the other man to shut up.

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4 people: A pilot, Bill Gates, the Pope, and a little kid, are all on an airplane with only 3 parachutes, when the plane's engine explodes and starts to go down. But the pilot makes an emergency landing at a nearby airport and everybody is okay.

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your mama is so greasy she should go take a bath

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What is the most common cause of pedophilia? Sexy kids.

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sometimes i put my hands on the floor tuck my head into my cheat and lean forward... because thats how i roll

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Whats pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

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A guy walks into a bar... Ouch

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Pick up lines: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're wearing a university of Tennessee sweatshirt. If I could rearrange the alphabet to put 'U' and 'I' together, I would not do it because I would have to reorganize all of my alphabetized files. Is it hot in here to you or am I experiencing early signs of a stroke?

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Why was the woman bald? She was a Britney spears fan.

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Two muffins were in an oven. One muffin said "Wow, its hot in here." The other muffin said "Oh my gosh a talking muffin!" The house burnt down because the oven created a fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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