What is red, blue, green, and pink, tie died, and alive? Nothing.

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A women in her kitchen hears a thud outside. Her husband fell off the roof.

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Hey, so I know this guy who knows this guy,who knows this guy,who knows this guy,who knows this guy,who knows this guy,who knows this guy,who knows this guy,who knows this guy's cousin who's name is Mark.

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grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrHirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr can u find the r

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A man on an airplane is extremely frustrated by a small, screaming child. He puts on his headphones and listens to music.

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Why did the grandmother lock her grandson in the closet? Because she didn't love him.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because the chicken had enough of life and wanted to commit suicide due to recent tragic events such as his cheating wife, his druggie son, his prostitute daughter, losing his home, and getting fired

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What's worse than a Holocaust in your apple? What.

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Once upon a time, there was a horse that had no legs, it laid on the ground it's entire life and died. The end.

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Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Holy shit a talking Muffin."

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I was walking down the road yesterday with only 1 shoe. A man stops by and says "Did you know that you lost a shoe?" I reply "No I didn't. I found 1."

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The world's smartest man walks into a bar. And he orders the best most reasonably priced drink.

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What did God say when he saw the first black man? What a wonderful creation I have made.

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Meh, I dont want it anymore! You can have it.

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Why did the blind man die? He had eye surgery and the doctor told him when he first opened his eyes there would be a very bright light, turns out he also had alzheimers and wandered onto the train tracks

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A blind guy walks into a bar because he can't see.

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Life is like a box of chocolates! It sucks if you have diabetes

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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A donkey walks into a supermarket and asks the cashier "Where are the potatoes?" The cashier replies "aisle 3" The donkey goes to aisle 3 And there are no potatoes

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Knock knock Who's there? Banana Banana who? Orange Orange who? Banana Banana who? I have AIDS

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Why did Johnny stop walking halfway to school? A fridge fell on him.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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What do fish and shoe laces have in common? nothing.

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What do you call a dirty black person? Unhygienic

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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