What is the difference between a duck. One of its legs are both the same.

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How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

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hey

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Person 1: Can I write a good anti-joke? Person 2: No. Person 1: Why nut? Person 2: All the gud onez r taken. ;-; tru...

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why did the black guy get testicular cancer? because he put his balls in the microwave.

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What does the Fawkes say? "Remember, remember, the 5th of November..."

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your momma is so fat that she thinks someone hugs her each time she passes through a door

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Chicken penis.

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Did you hear about the mail man without a mail truck? He walked

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♪ It's raining. It's pouring. ♪ The old man caught pneumonia and died....

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Q: whats white and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you A:a fridge

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She got shot in the head by her drunk step-dad.

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Samraj.

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What did the boy do when he struck out in his little league game? He was very upset and contemplated not playing the game anymore.

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What does a bartender say to almost all of his customers? May I please see your I.D.

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What do you call a drunk irishman? A cab.

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Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike?.. She was 4 and hadn't learned how to ride a bike yet... Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead... Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?.. It was stapled to the first monkey... Why was Suzie angry?.. Her parents had only found one bike at the marketplace... Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?.. It thought it was a game... Why did the fridge fall out of the tree?.. It had no arms... Lucy fall off her bike?.. She was crushed by 3 monkeys and a fridge... There's 500 bricks on a plane and you throw one out, how many are left?.. 499 bricks... How do you get an elephant into a fridge?.. Open the fridge, take the elephant out, close the fridge... How do you get a deer into a fridge?.. Open the fridge, take the elephant out, close the fridge... The lion is celebrating his birthday and, being the king of the jungle, all the other animals were in attendance except for one... Why?.. The deer was in the fridge... Little Mia is looking for Lucy and comes across an alligator-infested river... How does she cross it?... She swam... The alligators are at the lion's party... She died anyways, though... What happened?.. A brick fell on her head... Why did Suzie fall off the swing?.. She was trampled by the elephant, who was in a hurry to get to the lion's party in time... Why did the ethologist couple commit suicide?.. Their 3 daughters there killed by a brick, an elephant and 3 dead monkeys followed by a fridge... Note: yeah not 100% original, i mixed some already existing jokes together... works better if you don't tell them all at once but sprinkle them in with lots of other unrelated jokes...

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpion. What's worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by two giant scorpions

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What is black and white and red all over? A black, red and white picture

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Why can't Sean slam dunk cos he has no arms -•#21

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how do yopu punish helen keller? Ground her, just like you would with any other child.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's, Who are you?

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A young boy had a question and looked into the sky then his eyes got burnt from the sun and he went blind.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because at some point through out the day, it had been relocated to the other side of the road. Since it was feeding time, it needed to return to the chicken coop or else risk death due to starvation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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