A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

24

thumb_up thumb_down +31

This sentence is false.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them

thumb_up thumb_down +29

I've got a shotgun with two bullets. I've got two enemies. What do I do with the gun? I go bird hunting. Kelvin Yang

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's black and white and read all over? A zebra family that was just murdered by African poachers.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Yo Mama so slow She can't run very fast.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Roses are red, Violets are BLACK!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How do u get a clown off of a swing? You hit him with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why does the Muslim go to Hollywood? Because he is gifted in acting. He believes Hollywood will give him a wider range of career opportunities.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What is the difference between a mom and a dad? One is a mom and the other is a dad. Why couldn't Fred see the board? He had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

what do all black jokes start with (look left look right)

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Chuck Norris walks into a bank. There is a long line to get to the teller. Chuck Norris waits patiently in line.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the mentally handicapped kid fail his math test? Because he didn't study.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Q: What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Roses are red violets are blue I have AIDS go get checked

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A guy walks into a toilet store and there are 3 left 1is silver 1 is wood and 1 talks he took the one that talks. the next day he is shitting and he hears the toilet "do you see what i see

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A Elephant was going to fight against the biggest and toughest and meanest giant African desert mouse! The battle the animal kingdom had waited for centuries! *DING!* Elephant: Get up Mickey! Mouse: Squish! Disney: How big do you really think a African "giant" desert mouse is?

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Give a man a fire and he will be warm for the rest of the night. Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the black kid get for his birthday? Yo bike!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of a lake? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What happened to the Californian who drove off into the sunset. He died. You can't drive in the ocean.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the man destroy his piano? He may have been frustrated with himself for making mistakes during practice.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops