what do you call a guy that has a mouth, but cannot speak? a poor freshman who has been commanded by a Senior not to speak.

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What do Tutankhamun and Elvis Presley have in common? They're dead

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Q.Whats the differents between justin bieber and a girl A.Nothing

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How did they wake up Lady Gaga? They p-p-poked her face p-p-poked her face......!

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What do you get if you cross a centipede with a millipede? I don't know but it sure has a lot of legs

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What's blue and has two windows ? The sky, i lied about the windows.

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What do you call an asian man driving a plane? Well you can't drive planes

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A man walks into a bar. His alcohol dependency is tearing his family apart.

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Why did the chicken cross the road It didint make it across

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What did America get on the 11th September? 9/11

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What did the Pornstar say to his wife? He concluded that a divorce was the way forward for both of them as, seeming as he was a pornstar, he was almost certainly having extra-maritial sexual intercourse, unhealthy for any working relationship.

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Person 1: Knock knock. Person 2: Come in.

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What did the Asian, the black man and the jew have in common? To be honest i really don't know.

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A fat lady walks into a bar. Your probably wondering what she ordered. She ordered a ham burger.

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1100110001012....HOLY S@&$ A 2!

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So a jew walks into a bar!

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There was a man workin at the supermarket, when a cow with a hat entered. He realized that it couldn't be really happening and had to be a dream. Effectively: he was dreaming. Actually, he was in jail, and his execution was scheduled for that day.

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Why did Alice cross the road? Because she wasn't funny. At all. So the people on the other side of the road asked her to do so.

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How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Yarn

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? ghuieruioytidhfdvbshdkhfjh

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What do you call a hobo that lives a in a box. A hobo

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Q:What did the man say when he walked into a bar. A: Ouch

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice-cream? He was run over by a bus and died instantly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops