Me: f*** off Asshole: YOUR MOM! Me: -is dead.

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Do you play piano? No

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A black teenager drives an Escalade His father is a prominent lawyer and his mother is a neuroscientist.

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Why did the cat throw up on the couch? because it was nauseous!

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How did the mexican cross the border? He went through border patroll, and then later became a legal citizen of North America

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Why did the chicken cross the road? WHO CARES!!

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What did the person do at the stop sign? Stop

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why'd the baby cross the road it was stapled to the chicken

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what is fat, sweaty, and italian? Italians

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Why didn't the boy have any toes? - Because he did not have any legs.

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My children are huge mistakes.

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What is better than a cat? Nothing

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Why did the guy throw a clock out his window? Because he was mentally unstable and needs help.

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What did the mute person say to the deaf person? Nothing.

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Why did the dude fall? Because he tripped over a stick.

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What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? Toys -Lets Go MEts

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Joanna walks up to a random house, knocks on the door,"Is this where the party's at?!"

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There once was a man from Peru, Who fell into an extremely deep sleep and woke up just before he choked to death on his shoe rubber.

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What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo.

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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"We all miss somebody a lot every now and then, its only human! But never give up, just keep reloading and firing until you hit that somebody!" Moral: Moral, answer me, MORAL MOOOOORAAAAAAAAL! DUN DU DURUN, DUN DUN DUN! *gunshot* (The moral section just because I love them red thumbs ^^)

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What is worse than a baby nailed to a tree? The holocaust. What is worse than 20 babies nailed to a tree? A baby nailed to 20 trees.

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a dyslexic man came on this website thinking it was made by his aunt Tina keoj he was sadly mistaken. it was just a bunch of jokes about dyslexic men going into bars

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Whats the best ab workout? Solly Twist

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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