What do a platypus and Obama have in common? A brain, except for Obama.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is a little peculiar and then becomes aware he is actually dreaming. He wakes up from his dream and begins to tell his wife about the ridiculous dream he had. His wife just ignores him, the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes his marriage is in shambles.

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What do you call white people that live in a trailer park? Residents.

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Q: What do you call a Muslim controlling a plane? A: A pilot.

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Why is Santa fat? Because the apples are red.

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Why couldn't little Johnny play sports like the rest of the kids? He was diagnosed with polio at the age of 3 and has limited use of his legs.

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What happend to the gay kid that walked into iran. He got shot and killed ????

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Why was the boy embarrassed when he opened his parents' bedroom door? Because he had been trying the door for several minutes until he realized he was pushing instead of pulling.

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Your mother was a hamster, And your father smelt of ElderBerries!

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What did the children in India eat for dinner?

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What's funny about using a shake weight? It resembles masturbating with a penis.

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Q, whats worst then being trapped in a house with a ghost. A, being trapped in a house with thirteen ghosts.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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Carlos was attempting to write anti-jokes. He sucks at writing anti-jokes.

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What did one muffin say to the other in the oven? Nothing. They're muffins.

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What's Mary short for? She's got no legs.

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Why is a building called a building when it's already been built? My pinky is pink and my liver helps me live.

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Why couldn't the 1 year old talk? It's a 1 year old, idiot, it can't!

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There's two people, one wearing a nice sweater and the other is not. The one without has to walk the dog, so he asks the other guy if he can have his sweater. He says "No but you can wear it."

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Why did the lion go to the doctor? He was hungry for man flesh. -John R-

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How would I re-arrange the alphabet? I would place P in your butt...

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What did one cow say to the other cow? nothing cows cant talk. They did however, exchange glances while chewing grass next to each other.

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This is an anti joke with a difference. It's funny.

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I was (really) asked one day by a guy if I wanted to star in a porn movie... Before I could even think about it he asked my 14 year old sister "Do you want to join in too?" And that kids, is why I am stuck in jail for pushing up a boot up a guys ass... Well replace boot with dick, and guys ass with my 14 year old sister and yeah... Naw... seriously she has hueg boobs though... at the age of 14, damn those melons have not even gone a bit greenish yellow and they are still growing... ...Hey Cassandra, its NeroMetal, good thing I am not your brother and that you are 19 right? NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH THAT NEROISM DUDE THAT CHATS HERE, I play videogames, and write books, and sign books... ...Then some guy sees my real name is Nero and goes that guy on horsehead network? Who? HE SUCKS! SUCKS ASS!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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