How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The horse said nothing because it doesn't understand human language.

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what is green and smells bad? an orange dolphin that poops out rainbows.

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When a fat lady walks by what do u think? R u fat or pregnant

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What did the man with the gun say to the man without the gun? I have a gun

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who is not good looking? mon morello

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If Tigger was a black panther Christopher Robin would have named him Nigger.

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Why 't the blonde dial 911? Because phones haven't had dials on them for at least 40 years or so. She can however punch it in on her keypad.

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He has no legs.

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What did the Cat get for Christmas? Nothing cats don't celebrate Christmas

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What is worse than finding a real joke on Anti-joke.com? Starving children in Africa.

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An Indian lady is pushing her child down a footpath in a stroller whilst leading her dog. A refridgerator lands on the mother. Why did the Chinese man behind her cry? Because loss of life is a frantic event and having witnessed such an event he was deeply shocked. He was also sad that no dogs were killed. This is because a dog killed his wife in a freak accident and he has held a grudge against the species ever since.

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Why did the man fall off of his bike? He was hit by a car and died in a tragic accident.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Smelly Indians.

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What is worse than blue balls? Green Balls.

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How can you tell if a man has an erection? His penis is no longer flaccid

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I'm a poet and I didn't even realize I was one

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Q:What do you call a wizard who flies? A: A flying wizard.

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Little Jack Horner sat in a corner, Dead.

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Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Holy shit a talking Muffin."

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A flea walks into a bar. Nobody notices because it is a very small insect

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Chuck Norris never shows emotion!!!... because he is a pragmatic person and thinks in a more logical manner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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