What's the difference between a portuguese widow and a llama? One is a portuguese widow and the other isn't.

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What did the scarf say to the hat? Nothing, a scarf can't talk.

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Did you know that Helen Keller had a swing set? neither did she.

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Your momma's so fat she ate oranges and coffe

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An innocent man's home was raided by police, who accused him of grand theft auto. It turns out it was just a case of mistaken identity.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Getting raped..

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A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit and. the bear eats the rabbit in a whole bite without chewing...end of story...the end

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Why did the black man run when he heard police sirens? Because he was parked in a handicap spot

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You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

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whats the fastest way to be murdered tell your wife your cheating on her

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I want to make a lamp shade out of your skin, because you light up my life.

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Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

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There are two muffins in the oven. The first says to the other, "Its getting hot in here." The second, befuddled, replies, "AHH! A talking muffin!"

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pady irish man paddy english man and paddy african man go on a magic slide wat ever you say will be at the bottem paddy irish man said gold paddy english man silver paddy african man almost fell off so he said shit buthalf way down he thought it was fun so he said wee

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A man walks into a bar. On impact, he suffers quite the blow to his head, resulting in him falling unconscious. He is escorted to the hospital, where he is pronounced in a coma on arrival. His family is left devastated. His wife, who was a stay-at-home mother to their 2 children doesn't take this news very well and is sent into a spiraling depression. 16 years later, the man finally wakes from his coma to find that his son and daughter that he had left behind where now grown teenagers and almost done with high school, his wife's has remarried and given birth to his half-child. This is why you don't text while walking down a sidewalk.

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what do get when you throw a penny in between a jew and a mexican? nothing besides one less penny

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Why can't the Mexican float? He never learned the proper technique as he was not allowed to take swim class.

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Ol-ive

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A man is pulled over because he is suspected of drunk driving. The officer comes to the window and is greeted by a man who then replies: What seems to be the officer, problem?

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Are those two people having sex? Yes, I think they are.

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arena football

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Why don't pineapples grow on pine trees? Because they're tropical.

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Why did Piglet look in the toilet? He was probably fascinated by the flush.

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A Muslim man walks away from a populated area leaving his briefcase behind. After a few minutes he returns because he forgot his briefcase.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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