What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? an email from PETA

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so the weather's nice...

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What happened after the man walked off the cliff? Nothing. It was a foot tall.

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A gorilla walks into a bar. It goes on a killing spree, and is promptly put down by animal control.

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why did jenny fall off the swing? because she had no arms Knock Knock Whos there? not jenny

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How do you create an antijoke? Story written by Danny and Patrick

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Roses are red vielots are blue but they aren't as sweet as you.Can you be my Valentine ny choclate cupcake will you me my choclate

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Whats long hard and has seaman? A submarine!

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What's the difference between a trash can full of dead babies and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

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mitchell palmer sucks

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what do u call a man being beaten in the street the cops

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How do they call a black man that works in a mine. Miner.

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Why the hell does my sister shower in a swimsuit every time? Its not as if anyone is looking! ALRIGHT! ONCE ALRIGHT? ONLY ONCE! But then she hears the sound of my zipper ONCE and the shit hits the fan! Which is weird, yeah suuure she hears it when I pull it up, but when I pull it down and stroke it and moan? Nada!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because its instincts were telling it that the higher amount of grass on the other side of the road would lead to an increase in the odds of survival due to a more adequate source of food and nourishment.

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You are in an airplane, and you have 500 bricks. You throw one out the door. How many do you have? 499. What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a fridge? 1-open the door,2-put the elephant in,3-close the door. How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? You open the door, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in, and shut the door. The lion king is having a party for all the animals… which one didn't go? The giraffe, it's in the fridge. An old lady is trying to cross an alligator infested river. She makes it over. How? The alligators are at the party. She dies anyway. How? She gets hit by the brick you threw out of the window.

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A bloke walked in to a bakers shop and asked for a loaf of bread. Certainly sir, said the assistant, white or brown?...it doesn't matter, answered the man, I've left my bike outside

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why couldnt helen keller drive she was a woman

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A black man provides has a normal day job and provides for his family while staying faithful to his wife.

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What does and elephant and me have in common. Everything, I am an elephant.

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Q. What do you do when you cross an elephant, and a soccer ball. A. That would never happen.

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What do you do if a black man steals your flatscreen TV? Give up, he's probably in Mexico by now.

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anus

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How can you tell the difference between a black man and a white man? Quite easily actually.

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Two monkeys are sitting in a tree. One monkey looks to the other monkey and says, "I bet I can jump from this tree to the next tree without falling." The other monkey replies, "I'm sure you could. You're a monkey."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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