What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Whats green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Your grandma and your mom drove of a cliff, who survived? Both of them they didn't drive off a cliff

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A dog, a cat, and a a fish were having a conversation while their owners were away. Ashton Kutcher is a murderer.

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Q: What do the Terms of Service say? A: I dont know, I didnt read them.

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Dyslexia ruels!

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How can you tell if your roomate is gay? If he gets an erection when you have anal sex with him.

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What's the difference between a duck? One leg is both the same

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Canoe Well one is a human, beating heart, and the other is a small boat you row in

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Roses are red Bacon is also red Poems are hard Bacon

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Jesus hates you this I know, because Buddha told me soo.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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A hobo said to another hobo "Im homeless"

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Why did the blind man fail his math test? Because he had been raped and murdered. Going blind is a side effect of death.

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Why did the old man miss the Alzheimer's Day walk? Because he died in his sleep.

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So there's this guy, and he's trying to screw in a lightbulb, right? Well, he did it. Hoorah. His wife was proud.

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What's worse than stepping on a nail? stepping on the nail and falling on more nails face first.

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So two men were drinking beer and one asks "Why are you so sad today, Lenny?" The other man replies "Because I was just diagnosed leukemia." Four days later Lenny dies and his body was buried at Cherryhill Cemetery where his family mourned over his death.

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What did the boy with asthma say to his friend I can't breath

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What rhymes with float,boat,moat,coat and goat but can not be on a boat, can not float, can not be in a moat, can not be on a coat and can not ride a goat? A zoat because it's not a real word and therefore is incapable of doing any of those things.

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A polar bear and a seal are sitting on an ice floe. The polar bear looks at the seal and says, "RAWRRRRRRRRRGGG" and then kills and eats him. A horse walks into a bar Barman says "Why the long face?" The horse replies "My mum died this morning".

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just a man and his thoughts....and a smart phone app, and a loving family, thats not the point.

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What do you give a man who has everything? Syphilis

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Knock-Knock Whos there? You're about to get shell shocked...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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