What's the hardest thing to do while masturbating? Having sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Yo mamma's so fat, at her last annual checkup her attending physician informed her that if she did not attempt to control her weight gain through a careful moderation of her diet and began exercising on a regular basis, that her obesity would soon manifest itself in a variety of chronic health conditions that would permanently alter her ability to enjoy life and could significantly decrease her lifespan.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What are the two sexiest farm animals? Consider that we are humans we shouldn't find any sex appeal in animals but if i had to guess I would say Brown Chicka Brown Cow

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the gir fall off of the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what gets louder as it gets smaller? a baby in a trash compacter.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man walks into a bar. Because he's had a rough day, he asks the barender for a drink. Then another... Then another... (continued) The man walks out of the bar and goes to his car. He starts to drive back to his house. He wobbly makes turns and closes his eyes every 5 seconds or so. He also talks to his boss on his phone for the majority of the ride. Surprisingly enough, he makes it home safely and doesn't harm anyone else despite the large amount he had to drink. He stumbles into his apartment and goes up to his room. He slumps down onto his bed on his back very heavily, causing the room to shake a bit. He opens his eyes, only to find his glass shandelier falling from directly above his face. His body was found by his girlfriend the next morning. I guess there's no real moral to the story then... Maybe it's: You can drink and drive, but don't put a shandelier directly above your bed... I guess? Wow. What are the odds?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your car repossessed.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

The t rex said to the textbook ............. Im not going to read you

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the trucker say when his hat blew out the window? "**** my hat!" What did the teenager say when the same thing happened to him in his small car? The same thing, except he was a teenager, driving a small car.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why is motorboating so much fun? Because they are unmatched for their speed and agility in the water.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did Rosie drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus...

thumb_up thumb_down +11

i am and me is i

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was the Black person afraid of the chainsaw? Be cause it goes run nigga nigga run nigga nigga run

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a person and one is an inanimate object

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the goat cross the street? It was running away from the Tsunami

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Whats the difference between anti-jokes and regular jokes? A Fridge full of dead babies being thrown at a black man with no arms or legs swinging from a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man was feeling sick and decided to go and see a doctor. He saw the doctor and then went home. He wasn't feeling any better so he decided to get checked-out by the doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what do u call a guy with 4 nipples? Hairy Styles

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is the mexican dream? To jump the border

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the fat boy cry? His grandmother died

thumb_up thumb_down +11

An eleven year old boy walks into a bar... he is searching for his father, who has a known alchol problem, and has been missing for five days.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Bob and his family were looking forward to going to an all inclusive holiday to Spain. When they got on the plane, a bomb went off, causing Bob to realise that he was never going to see his family again, and that they were about to suffer a horrific, painful death.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

knock knock Person A: who's there Person A: oh shit that was me

thumb_up thumb_down +11

I like my wine just like how I like my woman 5 years old and in my basement.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops