Why did the drunk man puke? Because he was drunk.

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What do you call a rollercoaster without a coaster? A roller

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There were a dog and a cat in a family house. The dog turned to the cat and said .. nothing because a dog can not speech the human language.

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You bumder!

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how do you get rid of your home work? give it to your dog!

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Q: What's worse than spilling milk all over the floor? A: Cleaning up the milk you spilled all over the floor.

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The horse said nothing because it doesn't understand human language.

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A man walks into a bar. He bumps his head on the iron and has headaches for a week.

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Whats worse than suicide? death

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What do you call a billionaire who lost a large portion of their net worth? A millionaire.

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What happened to the black guy who got pulled over by the cops? He was told that his left tail light was out

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Why is bobsledding the coolest sport? Because this is my subjective opinion.

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What do a dog and a fork have in common? They both have tails. Except for the fork.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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How did the Jewish man play racquetball? With a racket and a birdie.

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Whats the quickest way to get famous? kill the president

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What do you call a black man wearing tights? Rick

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Whats brown and can't ride a bike? A lampshade.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was being chased by a wolf, who promptly ate the chicken when they arrived at the other side.

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A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

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What's red and green and goes 100mph? A frog in a vehicle on the Autobahn.

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What did one wall say to the other? Nothing. Walls can't talk.

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Knock Knock, Get the f*ck off my porch

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops