How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself pink and throw green banana at her.

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Yo Mama is so white, people call her caucasian.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a dog in your apple

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Why are you bored? because fungus grows in your eyeballs so you try to stab it out but you end up blind and dead lol

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Roses are Red. Violets are blue. I took a shit on your wife's face last night.

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Why did nobody bother to help the old lady cross the road? Because her actions in recent years had given rise to considerable division and ill-feeling within the community.

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Why did the downy jump off a cliff? I told him to.

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George Bush.

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac over off a cliff? A Cadillac seats 5

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what's the difference between a bearded man and bearded lady the bearded man has a penis

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What's purple and has four legs? I don't know. What? I DONT KNOW EITHER THAT'S WHY I'M ASKING YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE!

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Roses are red, violets are blue, This is false, Violets are purple.

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I remember my days you know in the army, agfanifuckingstan, got dirty water, then spent a week shitting... Anyway, I was holding a grenade right? And then two of them came around and I was like "here come good boy! GOOOD BOY! Catch the ball!" And then I pulled the pin and threw it. Aww shut up, you are all like "YOU SOLDIER KILL PUPPIES!" NO THOSE WHERE KIDS! And they would have been like 15 today and been killing your men today! YOU ARE SO FUCKING WELCOME!

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What's black and really really smelly? Martin Luther King Jr.'s grave.

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What do Michael Jackson and Donkey Kong have in common? They're both famous.

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Not a joke.

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When do doctors make house calls? When you're sick.

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Why didn't George Washington get his drivers license? Cars were yet to be invented.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead. why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the first monkey? why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure.

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Why didn't the white kid go to school? Because it was Martin Luther King day.

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A man shouts a women crossing the road "Oi, get your rat out love!" So she did, and it savaged his face.

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Alright alright Tifa, you look totally different from your drawn identical twin. And yeah I could have been a bit more subtle, don't you worry, I have a special knack for SPAMMING COMMENTS INTO THE ABYSS! I mean sheesh you where pretty open about it earlier, and you said you did not give a damn about what random people thought... Moral: But yeah, I can do better than that, I just do not want to, no seriously, if you are going to go feeling ashamed, then I have failed you.

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How did the dyslexic, purple horse commit suicide? It jumped off the Grand Canyon.

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Mitt Romney

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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