Roses are red, violets are blue, This is false, Violets are purple.

Why did Susie start shaking? She had continuous ceasars

Why did the baby bird have no friends? Because he chose not to socialize with the baby birds.

Why do canadians have a lower violent crime rate than the U.S? Because they were all raped as children and are now afraid of getting raped again when bathing in prision.

Girl: I love you in a platonic way Guy: ... Is that some kind of fat joke!

Did you hear about my new Muslim friend? Hes the bomb!

Roses are red, violets are blue you may not know this but I'm falling for you . <3

How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

What do you get when you mix 5 bottles of beer, a bottle of vodka, 3 glasses of red wine, and 15 jello shots? Alcohol poisoning.

What did the fish say to the octopus? nothing... fish cant talk.

A guy walks into a bar- he walks out of the bar because the beer was expensive and he didn't feel like getting drunk.

Q: Why did the grandma forget to take her pills? A: She died in a tornado

knock knock..... ding dong...... knock knock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! they weren't home

whats black dirty gross and sits on the porch all day? a trash bag

YOU'VE WON A FREE IPAD!!!!! PRESS CTRL+W TO CLAIM YOUR PRIZE!

How does he keep getting girls to sleep with him? Bear-traps..

What do you call two black men screaming as loud as they can? Scared

what did the farmer say to the cow on the roof? get down.

Roses are red, violets are blue. my Mom is a hooker.

Teacher: "Kenny, what is the biggest mammal on land?" Kenny: "A stranded whale."

Me: How can you tell if somebody's a Nazi? Friend: How? Me: Their killing people in a ghetto. Friend: My friend was shot in a ghetto. Me: So, does that make him a Jew? Friend: No, he was just killed in a big ass oven.

what did the 3 year old get for her birthday? nothing she died of terminal cancer at the age of 2

your mamma so fat... she went to hell.

What do you call a book of notes? A notebook.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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