Two scientists are working in a lab. The first one asks, "Do you want some sodium?" The second one pours acid into the first one's eyes.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A deer. The fact that it has no eyes doesn't change the species.

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knock knock whos there? police police who? police your house is on fire and your kid just died from broncitisand i just farted and u get a tickit because u answered the door naked

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A man was driving and texting at the same time and when he was not looking a car passed him on the other side of the road. The man driving the car that passed the man was talking on the phone. When the man txting looked up and look back and said thank god thats not me talking i could of crashed if i was him

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when trouble come down in your neighborhood who you gonna call? the local law enforcement or another form of personal protection

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Whats the difference between a prostitute and crack dealer? One sells addicting drugs, while the other exploits her vagina for money. Either way, they're both illegal.

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What's worse than being shot? Being shot twice.

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what did batman say to robin to tell him to get in the car? get in.

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Q: Where did Sarah go when the bomb exploded? A: Everywhere.

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a man is running away

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms

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What is green and has wheels? A blue car.

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What do you call a man named Cornelius? Well, he prefers to go by his middle name, Eric, because he was teased as a child for being named Cornelius.

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What are we ? Students ! What do we want ? Six months holiday ! When do we want it ? Twice a year !

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How do you make pie without the oven? I dont kow, go google it.

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Trump will make America great again.

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Why didn't the sperm cell cross the road? It died from the intense heat.

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What did one cow say to the other? Moo.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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Ain't idn't a word.

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How do you kill Chuck Norris. Shoot him in the face

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Whats white and can't climb trees? Yogurt.

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What is a slave fighting in a pit of Rome? Just a slave. Who cares?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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