Goodbye Nero, it is good to see that you are the man that we still admire so much, except better, wiser than we thought you would be, stronger, if broken inside by unhappiness, you cannot change this world into what it could have been, and neither should you take that burden upon your shoulders anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did jimmy cross the road? Because that was the direction the cannon was pointing.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Boyfriend: Why are you so negative all the time? Girlfriend: I'm not! I'm positive! Boyfriend: No your not your arguing with me right now and you... Narrator: The girl takes the pregnancy test and shoves it in the guys mouth kicks him in the nuts and runs out the door.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's black and white and red all over? A referee eating a red Popsicle on a hot summers day.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, it won't go to you anyways.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Statistics show That people with the most birthdays Live the longest

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Once upon a time, Ducks THE END

thumb_up thumb_down -2

You: That was awful. Me: You know what else is awful? You: What? Me: This joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the blonde walk into a glass wall? Because she either wasn't watching where she was going or the wall was so clean that it appeard not to be there

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's worse than dropping a dollar down the drain? Getting constantly tortured for hours non-stop by getting your eyebrows plucked out one by one and getting your teeth pulled out and getting your arms cut open by a razor and getting your nose twisted off and getting your nipples ripped off by a pair of pliers and getting your toenails scraped off by a knife and getting a needle shoved into your eyes and getting a sword stuffed up your arse and getting your penis split in two like a hotdog and getting your balls smashed up by a sledgehammer so the sperm inside goes everywhere. I think that would be worse than dropping a dollar down the drain.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Two guys walk into a bar the third guy ducks

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a blonde on anti-joke? Fairly paranoid because of the typical blonde stereotype.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: Why was the man upset? A: He was kidnapped. Two cruel men tied him to a chair in an unknown location. This man was mistaken for someone who was planning to steal a big drug shipment. They beat him unmerciful, shocked him, and hit him in the head with a hammer, and threw him out in the street, with the belief of his death occurring. A driver stopped to help the man into the nearby hospital. The man was questioned about the physical appearance and whereabouts of these criminals. He remembered nothing, and sadly, they got away with this horrible crime.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do fish and shoe laces have in common? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

i like my women like i like my coffee without a penis

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? El-if-iknow

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Is it true that curiousity killed the cat? No, I hit it multiple times with a baseball bat

thumb_up thumb_down -2

a blind man drinking from a dog, thinking it was a fountain

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I wife my butt after I poop. I poop out of my penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? 7

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's funnier than throwing a baby off a bridge? Everything, if you think that's funny, you're a terrible person.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I am so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops