Roses are red Violets are blue The other color on our flag is white I'm an American and rhyming doesn't matter

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You're at a funeral & your phone goes off and the ringtone is dead and gone

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Fox News

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VaginaBoob ^.^

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Elvis presley was taking a poop and couldnt poop cause he was dead.

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jhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!

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- Why did the man with the big pocket get arrested in Utah? - Because adultery is illegal in Utah.

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What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13

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I put the word **** in a post. Anti Joke starred it and the joke didn't make sense anymore.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What happens when you turn 70? You have to go into your settings and make the text in your phone larger just so you can read it. What happens when you turn 71? You still have to go into your settings and make the text in your phone larger just so you can read it.

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Why did the kid trip over the rock? Because he was diagnosed with serious autism, and might die soon.

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Roses are Red You're Black and Blue My fists seemed to have taken A liking to you

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What happens if Chuck Norris meets a Transformer? Nothing. They would converse, then go their separate ways. Or Chuck would get killed. Horribly.

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What do you get when ned puts toast in the toaster? A fucking massive sperm whale.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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Patty cake. Which was a pretty funny catchthingie.

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When Chuck Norris is in a puddle, he doesnt get wet....he wears rainboots.

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Why did samba hurt her head? Because she fell out of her mum muff

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National security?

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why couldn't the tree grow? Because I cut it down with a chainsaw

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Why was the man sad His got raped

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Knock knock Who's there? Dishes Dishes who? Dishes a bad joke

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If at first you don’t succeed, you clearly weren’t the right person for the job. We’re sorry, but we’re going to have to let you go; please collect your belongings and vacate the premises immediately.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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