Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Your momma's so fat she has diabetes and my have to get one of her legs amputated. It's actually quite sad.

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because his face was stapled to the wall.

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What's slower than mollasses? Your fattass mother!

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What did the black man do when his car was rear-ended? He exchanged insurance information with the other driver.

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Why did the boy fall asleep in class? He was tired.

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What do you tell your dad if he constantly gripes about his balls? He's got testicular cancer and he's going to die a horrible painful death.

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How do you make an orphan's hands bleed? Tell them to clap until there parents come home.

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what do they do to dead Mexicans? skin them and make them in to wet suites.

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Whats worse than it raining on your birthday? 911

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Justin Port#$ falls out of a tree. What happens? he breaks his neck and unfortually dies a long painful death.

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Why was the boy depressed? A. because his whole family was slaughtered on the kitchen floor.

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Why do they give old people Viagra at nursing homes? Because erectile function decreases with increasing age, and it would be unfair to needlessly deny senior citizens the right to consensual intercourse if that is what they want.

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Thanks, I admire your sincerity, and I am happy to see that I got a lot more in common with you, than with well, my nerdy and geeky friends, which are not reading this here and now unless they are going against their orders and messing up their own work schedule. I just want you to know that I have fallen in love with you Nero, and if that is a problem for you, please let me know ASAP.

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"knock knock" "whos there" "poop" "poop who" "poop in the toilet"

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Yeah, and speaking about spiderman, I got some weird senses, when I get stressed things begin seeming slower, and gets a weird blur effect, not sure what it is, but if you know what "bullet hell video games are" Technically games where you play as a tiny spaceship and lots of bullets fly around, I was always awesome at those games as a kid, because the more stress I felt while playing, the slower my perception of time felt.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are rather unintelligent animals which clearly underestimate the dangers of crossing a busy road.

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Charles Manson is innocent.

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Q:why did the man jump of the house A:he did not I threw a frige at him

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Why didn't the family finish their picnic? Because a dog was sick all over the food.

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Whats worse than being a jew? Having all of your friends viciously murdered at a party that you weren't invited to.

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what shoes do pedafiles wear White vans

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What is really hard around Kim Kardashian? Diamonds.

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Who are doctors and literally are porn stars

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops