How do you confuse a blonde? put her in a circular room and tell her to stand in the corner

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the boy say when he got hit by a car? Nothing, he punctured his lungs.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? John. John Anderson. Dude we've been friends since first grade! You really don't remember me? I'm going home!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you get when you put a frog in a paper shredder? Harshly punished by the Animal Humane Society

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A: I've got a new knock knock jokes! Wanna hear it? B: Yeah. A: Oh you first. B: Knock knock! A: Who's there?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A dog walk into a bar, and the bartender asks, "What"ll it be?" The dog then breaks into tears as he realizes the bartender is his father's gay husband.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why did the photographer take so many pictures? Because he gets paid.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful busness man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

how do you make a plumber cry? you hit him in the face

thumb_up thumb_down +1

how do you make a little girl cry?? Kill her family

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Two men are making sandwiches, one man is spreading peanut butter over the bread and the other man is spreading honey and Italian raspberry jam over rye bread. the man with the peanut butter sandwich looks over and says "HEY, where did you get the rye bread?" and the man with the rye bread says "well my wife made it yesterday and I would be delighted if you come over for some tea, and tried some of my wife's homemade rye bread".

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why did the kid cross the road he didnt he had no legs

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

GONNA

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A sad horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" the horse answers "My wife was just diagnosed with terminal cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock Knock Who's there? The Police The Police who? .The Police The Police who? ..The Police The Police who? ...The Police The Police who? ....The Police The Police who? .....The Police The Police who? ......The Police The Police who? .......The Police The Police who? ........The Police The Police who? .........The Police The Police who? ..........The Police The Police who? Forget this. *Gunshot*

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do a black man and an elephant have in common? They are both multi-cellular organisms, they both belong to the kingdom Animalia, the phylum Chordata, and the class Mammalia, they both possess vertebrae, they both move through legged locomotion, they both possess knee joints and they both possess the capacity for altruistic behavior.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Your mother's breath smells so bad that it just doesn't smell very good at all.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Did you hear about the guy who came onto his best friend's wife? Yeah, she handed him some kleenex after and told him to wipe it off.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whos worse than Akise Teague. Mike Vick

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock knock Who's there Orange Orange who Orange

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? Since chickens cannot speak, it is difficult to say.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

hey did you hear about Osama bin laden? He was found by the CIA and killed on account of his atrocious actions.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

It's raining it's poring the old man died die to a sudden increase in blood pressure thus leading to a heart attack

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops