Why did Timmy pass his chemistry exam? Because he studied.

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what do you call postman pat after he's retired? Pat.

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A woman crashes her car into a pole Thier family is suing for a hit and run

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A man walks into a bar... OW!!!

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What did little Timmy get for Christmas? Abandoned

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey.

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Have you ever seen the inside of Stevie Wonder's house? Neither has he.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Someone dropped a refrigerator on her. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What's the deal with airline food? Nothin. It's quite scrumcious.

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What did the Frenchman say to the Englishman? I don't know, I don't speak French.

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Yo momma so ugly just after she was born, her mother said, "What a treasure!" and her father said, "Yea, let's go bury it!"

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What did Hitler get for Christmas? Some shoelaces for his shoes so he could tie his little knotsies.

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Your mom is so stupid she has trouble holding a steady job and struggles to support her family.

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What did the fat guy say after his weight-reduction surgery? I'm gonna sue the clown pants out of McDonalds

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A man walked into this bar, and said ouch.

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why did the mexican choose to work as a landscaper instead of at taco bell? landscaping pays much better and was a more practical decision in this economy to support his family of 13.

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Obama says: I can throw one 1,000 dollar bill out the window and make one person really happy Michelle says: I can throw ten 100 dollar bills out the window and make ten people really happy The Co-Pilot says: I can throw you both out the window and make 250,000,000 people really happy tee-hee

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whats green andthrows forks at you? a blonde painted green in a bush wih a gun and a fly on her eye

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Why did the black man actually receive an education. Because he is entitled to one as a citizen of the world. Frederick Douglass, at the twenty-third anniversary of the Emancipation Proclamation stated that "Education, the sheet anchor to a society where liberty and justice are secure, is a dangerous thing to society in the presence of injustices and oppressions...." Douglass knew that in order for black people in America to survive, they had to be educated because it was the one area that could make the weak person strong and the black person equal. By the time the modern day Civil Rights Movement started, its leaders already knew that education was knowledge, and that knowledge was power. In order for black people to gain their equality, they would have to have a solid foundation to stand on, and that foundation would be education.

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Why did the waiter lose his job? Because he was a fish

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Two muffins were in the oven...They were taken out after about 40 minutes, and then enjoyed by all.

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You all have Aids

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Did you hear about the guy in town living in a tyre, he got a puncture now hes living in a flat.

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The Chinese government. The way they treat their citizens just isn't funny.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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